[00:00:00] Episode five. Welcome to the Aligned and Thriving podcast, designed for ambitious female entrepreneurs where we align systems, strategies, and self for sustainable success. Hi, my name's Jada and I am your host. Today, I wanna share with you some of the core things that I have done over the past 18 months or so, around two years now to undo.
My very workaholic and push, push, push habits and the difference it has made because I knew that something needed to change because what I had been doing was not working for me, and it wasn't even creating the full business success that I desired, even though I was running a multi six figure business.
It wasn't reaching the desired results that I was looking for, and I certainly [00:01:00] didn't feel good, and in the end I was burnt out, so I knew something needed to change. Beyond moving out into my own direction and finding that new direction for myself in business, I knew that I needed to make internal changes because even though I'd always known, you know, intellectually that my life.
Business and successes are a reflection of my internal world and would only really grow and become more of what I wanted when I became a match for it internally. It wasn't until the last 18 months to two years that it truly sank in, and I hit a point where I just knew no other business strategy was going to get me where I wanted to go.
I already had enough business strategies and strategies to set up for a successful life. For now that is, and I'm willing to bet you probably do [00:02:00] too. Now, if you are feeling a bit stuck, a bit lost, a bit wobbly, like you can't quite find your path or purpose, like the life you have is not serving you or the business the way that your business is structured and set up.
And functioning is not serving you and your ideal life or the way that you are being isn't aligned with who you want to be or what you want to achieve. I hope that my sharing will support you in making your internal evolution as well. This includes maybe you have a lot of external success. In your business, maybe your business is doing really well, but you feel burnt out.
You can't keep going the way that you have gone before or up until now. You don't want to. You wanna feel good along the way. You want the external success, but you also want the inner peace, the inner calm, the inner joy, the fun you want, your business working for you and [00:03:00] for your family. Not the other way around.
What I realized, and hopefully you will too or you can too, is that the only thing truly standing in my way was me. So these last kind of 18 to 24 months for me have been about unbecoming and rebecoming, and I'm absolutely still on that path to rebecoming. And still finding things to Unbe become, but there has been so much progress and it's hard to even put into words the effects of that to be honest.
There has been a whole lot of just being, which felt so incredibly uncomfortable as somebody who had spent so many years going, going, going. I literally felt for years, like I was running from one thing to the net. Racing out the [00:04:00] door to get the kids to kindy school. Literally running down the street to get into the car, to arrive at work, to get into a meeting, and racing from one commitment to another all day long, and then literally running out the door, running late for kindy pickup and getting to school pick up and then school after school activities, getting the kid through the kids' evening routine, all of the things, and then sitting back down to work.
All of the things, and maybe you can relate. So I used to feel so incredibly busy and so stopping and slowing down and doing the opposite of that. A whole lot of kind of nothing if you like or just being, or things like taking baths in the middle of the day when I didn't have the next idea or wasn't sure what to do next instead of pushing through, which is what I used to do, pushing through, sitting at the computer, continuing to work when no ideas were coming, when it wasn't flowing, when I couldn't figure it [00:05:00] out, I did the opposite and it was not comfortable a lot of the time.
Many times I questioned if these new behaviors would truly support me in the direction I wanted to go, because for a long time they didn't seem to be. But then I had to remind myself that neither had my old patterns and behaviors, so I really stuck at it. I often wondered how doing less would actually create more success, but I needed to trust the process.
I needed to lean into and trust the mentors that I had selected. And I needed to try a different way. Now, I've been emerging on the other side of this now for probably the last mm, four to six months at the time of recording. Very much on the other side of a big, big internal shift in evolution. And I can say with certainty that these changes have been [00:06:00] very, very worth it.
And I also know that I'm only just seeing the beginnings of these shifts start to come to life in my external world. But what I wanted to do today is to share with you some of the main things I did not just talk about this, but actually dive into some of the specific things that I did. To initiate, create and support this internal evolution.
So one of the things, because I know it's easier and faster to get support than to go it alone, is I got help. I got help through aligning myself and putting myself, myself in, in business containers where they were doing things differently. Where they're living. The kind of life that I desire, it's not just the business success, but it's the way of life.
I also got really personal support in finding, [00:07:00] understanding and removing some of the unhelpful and unsupportive beliefs, which no longer served me from experts in those areas. Specifically I worked with Jessica Reed, who is a master of subconscious alignment, nervous system regulation. She is an EFT practitioner, uh, and a business mentor, and she really helped me to dig in and find some of the beliefs, the core beliefs that I didn't even know existed.
That were very much unsupportive of the kind of self that I wanted to be, the kind of life that I want to lead, and the kind of business that I desire to have. And so she really helped me to dig into those and then to rewire and let those beliefs go so that I could open up space for beliefs that were more [00:08:00] supportive.
For the me, the life and the business that I desire. I also worked with Dr. Sasha Lenko, who is a, the doctor of psychology who supports entrepreneurial women to really harness the power of. Our mind, our brain, uh, and body happiness, and so that we can be at our peak performance in business and in life. And this is really that deep understanding of how my brain works, how I function.
I also dove into, I, I would say I'm dabbling. I haven't kind of dived in super deep into things like human design. Um, Enneagrams more understanding of myself because not only did I need to shift and get rid of some of those core beliefs that weren't serving me and create new ones, but I also need to understand how I function best so I can support myself.
So that's one of the really core areas that I dove into as part of this internal. [00:09:00] Evolution and shift. The second core thing that I did, and I've mentioned it already a little bit, is that I started doing the opposite behaviors to what I'd always done when things in my business or life weren't working.
Or going how I wanted them to things like literally when I was sitting and feeling like I didn't have ideas or I didn't know what my next best move was, or I was feeling stuck in something in my business or something wasn't going well. Instead of pushing through, I would do things like I would stop and I would take a long bath in the middle of the day.
Now, literally, I would never, ever have done this in the past, or I would do things like spend whole days lying on my bed reading just for fun. Recently I've gotten into reading fantasy again, romantic all the things, uh, and I had not read for fun. For probably since before my kids were born. So it's something [00:10:00] that I've enjoyed doing.
So doing some of the things that were just for fun and relaxing, and again, instead of pushing through to figure out that next best direction. To be honest, I was definitely all also recovering from burnout, and so I actually needed to take rest before I could fully have this evolution and feel better in myself.
I needed to do things to calm my nervous system. I needed to do things to rest and rejuvenate before I could really get back into kind of going all out in a new direction. It was the rest that I really should or could have taken probably about three years previous. So I did a lot of resting, which felt so uncomfortable because it's not like, you know, here I was and money was no issue and we were all sorted and.
You know, I had all the time in the world to get my new business up and running and all [00:11:00] that kind of thing. No, it's not, because all of the things were, all the ducks were in a, all my ducks were in a row and things were lined up and money was fine. And uh, you know, we had all the things that we need for home and all of the things.
No, but I knew that what I'd been doing before and the way I'd been going about things was not working. So I needed to take that rest. I needed to break those habits. I did things like taking long walks after school drop off instead of jumping straight into work. Lots of these things were for the rest, yes, but they were also to break down old habits.
And behaviors and to create new ones in quite a strong way. And as I mentioned, it felt so uncomfortable. It felt great. It felt great to be resting more. And as time went on, I felt more rested and more calm, of course. And I started to see the effects of that. But it also helped me to undo old [00:12:00] patterns, undo old habits, undo old behaviors.
And in quite a significant way do kind of the opposite of those things to rewire myself and realign the way that I was functioning, and then gradually re-pull that back to what a nice, comfortable medium. The third core area that I focused in on was doubling down on daily habits that were aligned with the future me life and business that I desire.
Things like my morning practices, eating well, going to the gym more regularly. In the last, uh, 18 months, I started going to the gym to lift weights. I'd never really been a gym goer, but I know that that is something that is important for me in my stage of life and for my longevity, and also really focusing in on relationships.
So I really identified the areas in my life that. [00:13:00] Either needed the most support, uh, or that maybe weren't scoring as high as I would like them to. When I analyzed all of those areas in my life and I doubled down on them and I also looked at which of the practices daily habits would be most supportive to me feeling my best.
So in my body, in my mind, and emotionally, and I really doubled down on those daily habits. The fourth area I focused in on was I stopped working at nighttime, like it became a hard and fast rule. Now, in the past, I mentioned earlier, I would sit, go back to work after I put the kids to sleep. So for probably around, oh my gosh.
6, 7, 8 years, probably most nights, I would say, to be honest, I used to go and do more work after I put the kids to bed, and I literally was burning the candle [00:14:00] at both ends. I was functioning in a way that really didn't feel good, and so again, to really snap myself out of that, I just made a hard and fast rule.
That I would not work at nighttime. It didn't matter whether I had finished everything for the day. I had already been reducing this over the previous couple of years. Um, but I just made this hard and fast rule for myself, which was obviously supportive to my morning practices as well. But even if I was working a little bit at nighttime and still getting to bed on time to support my mornings, I stopped all of that.
No more working at night. And I've continued this and it has been revolutionary, revolutionary. Um, I guess that kind of falls into daily habits really. But it was, I guess, a key habit that, um, that made a lot of difference. The fifth area I focused in on was I really lent into the [00:15:00] things that bring me joy.
I really reconnected with 'em and acknowledged my experience and all that had brought me here. Along with diving into, uh, and really uncovering and seeing for myself my zones of genius. So this is a few things rolled into one. Um, but I guess it, it is an extension of understanding myself more, but I guess leaning into those things that bring me joy and also the things that I am best at.
And acknowledging those things and encouraging those things and bringing those things out more and purposefully doing more of those things. If you're not sure what your zone of genius is or what I'm talking about with that, uh, you can read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. So this is, was a really big help and I went back and I read that book again last year.
So this is, will really help you find your zone of genius and move into that and do more of that. Uh, and, you know, when's the last [00:16:00] time you thought about what brings you joy? Do you even know, like, sure, maybe like a, a few things that you enjoy doing, but on a deeper level, what other things that truly bring you joy?
Maybe you even have to think back to when you were a child. What are the things that just lit you up that brought you so much joy? And then what are those things and how can you bring more of those things into your life on purpose? They don't have to be big, fancy things. They can be small things like I love to bake and I love to cook.
Not so much the nightly cooking that feels very much like a chore, but on weekends or trying a new recipe or on a rainy day, baking some scones or a cake, and really being present with that. And not having my mind like busy and all over the place, but being in that moment, being able to enjoy that thing that I'm doing either on my own or with one of my kids, or, you know, actually acknowledging those little [00:17:00] moments of things that bring you joy, like sitting with a, a warm coffee or cup of tea and reading a book or.
I don't know, finding a flower that you love or you know, getting yourself some cut flowers in your house, but little things that bring you joy. They don't have to cost money. They don't have to be big. They can be tiny. They could also be big and they could also be expensive, whatever they are. But really diving into what brings you joy and bringing more of that into your life.
So by doing this and really. Diving more into figuring out and getting clear on and understanding my zones of genius. It really helped me to rediscover and reinvent who and how I want to show up and what I want to offer again, which has been pivotal in in my journey, my business journey in finding that direction as well.
The sixth area that I really focused in on was I allowed myself to experiment. [00:18:00] Which is actually, uh, in my human design I have discovered, but I've always been a bit of a rule baker, a bit of an experimenter, and I just allowed myself to do more of this rather than feeling like I had just had to know the answers already.
I'm a big thinker if you know me personally, I think a lot, and so I needed to get out of my head, get into my gut response. To things and just try things out. So I started to allow myself to experiment more and to be more playful, not just in life, but also in business. So yes, recovering serious overthinker over here.
Maybe you relate. The seventh thing that I really focused in on for this internal evolution is I more fully disconnected myself worth from my business. So disassociating my abilities, my [00:19:00] worth, my value, my expertise, and my experience from the current. Size and stage of my newer business. Something I'm still working on for sure, but this has been really pivotal in how I show up and how I feel about showing up in this newer business when I've been able to separate the phase and stage of this newer business or new offerings that I put out versus.
What my actual abilities worth value, expertise, and experience is. And so that's been a really big part too, and something I encourage you to look at if you feel, you know, imposter syndrome sometimes, or if you are lacking some confidence or if you are kind of. Putting a new offer out or you're starting a new business, but it, it doesn't kind of discount the previous experience and expertise that you have, but if you've got any [00:20:00] feelings around that coming up, we really need to be able to kind of separate our self-worth and our abilities, value, expertise, and et cetera.
From a stage or phase or, or how a launch or an offer goes when we put it out there. Uh, because how that goes is not a reflection on what it could be or on us personally. And the eighth core area that I feel was hugely impactful on this shift from burnt out workaholic behavior, push, push, push, highly strong, overthinking all of the things into feeling a sense of inner calm and peace.
And happiness and overflowing energy and capacity and clarity of mind, and all of the things was that I lent into [00:21:00] mentors and peers who are able to see me as I couldn't yet. See myself and leaning into their belief in me when mine wavered, and I chose these people very, very carefully these last few years.
This has namely been with Tracy and Carl Harris inside their inner Circle Mastermind and all the incredible women inside that container. Thank you. Now the cool thing is the evolution isn't over yet. I can feel there is so much more to come, even while I am through it in a large degree, and feel completely different to what I did 18 months to 24 months ago.
I can see the bright light. I can feel the difference, as I mentioned, from feeling that overwhelm, that burnout, that highly strong feeling like I didn't have the mental space for anything extra. I didn't have the energy for anything extra. I feel like I didn't [00:22:00] have the time for anything. Oh my gosh, that was a huge one.
I don't have time for anything. I felt like I never had time for anything. Well, now I feel peace. I feel calm in. In my internal world, I feel happiness. I have time. I feel like I have time. I have. Extra energy and extra capacity mentally, emotionally, physically, and time-wise. And more than that, I'm filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what's to come, and I'm seeing the external outcomes of this internal evolution.
Really starting to come to life and people are quite literally noticing without me sharing anything about it. I have a really close friend who, well, interestingly, a very long term friend who is a close friend, but who I hardly saw at all last year, if you can probably see from what I shared, I went into a bit of a [00:23:00] shell.
I spent a lot of time just recalibrating myself, so I wasn't all that social. Um. For a, a long period of time anyway, so I hadn't seen this, this very long term and very close friend very much at all throughout the year, but she gave me a Christmas card and she said, I haven't seen you much this year, but the last couple of times I've seen you, you look so much happier.
And I'm not sure exactly what it is, but you just seem really different to what I've ever seen before. And I can't wait to hear what you've been doing and what's been happening. She really noticed the difference before I said anything about what I'd been doing, and it's such an incredible feeling. After feeling lost, unsure, wobbly, burnt out a bit like my mind had been full of cotton wool, exhausted.
So unsure about directions all causing a sense of [00:24:00] such frustration at not being clear on my path or further along it. Maybe you can relate as well. So whenever anyone asked me at the end of last year, business or personal wise, like what my biggest achievement was, it was absolutely the internal evolution and changes that I had experienced.
And knowing that it was just the beginning. So I really wanted to share all of this with you in case you feel like you are in the tunnel, in the wobble, in the uncertainty, in the burnout, in the push, in, the stress, in the highly strong state, in the over overthinking any of that. Feeling frustrated or maybe like you can't seem to find your path or wishing you were a whole lot further along it, or just wondering if there's a whole other way of doing both life and business where you actually feel good as well as creating those external successes that you [00:25:00] desire.
So I hope that in sharing some of my journey and some of the specific actions that I took and areas that I focused on will help you to take action. I. Or in, as the case may be, maybe some inaction and just being, uh, to support you in your evolution. If you can relate or if any of this was helpful, I would so love to hear from you and connect over our shared experience through these journey of life and business.
Please reach out via DM on Instagram. I'd so love to chat with you. Until next time, bye for now.
